[Lauchenoiria]

If an establishment politician walked into a meeting of Zongongia’s five-party coalition, they would likely have required medical attention for shock. This was not a government run by professionals, or people with any kind of experience. Generally, when a leader is so wildly new to the world of politics, there is at least a couple of advisers who understand proper procedure. And, granted, it was not like the coalition could not access such advice – they just generally rejected it.
 
Helga Wuopio (Republic Now), Anja Aalto (Communist), Alexandra Pentti (Women Rising), Jacob Johansen (Green Ecology) and Emma Storstrand (Tomorrow Party) sat around a circular table watching each other uneasily.
 
“You’re freaking insane,” Johansen snapped at Pentti, only he didn’t say ‘freaking’.
 
“And you’re a misogynistic pig,” Pentti retorted.
 
“You’d call anyone with a single facial hair a misogynistic pig,” Johansen rolled his eyes.
 
“Comrades!” Aalto scolded. “We must figure out what to do if the crown-wearer decides to act against us.” She said the latter as if it was a slur.
 
“There is a fine tradition of beheading monarchs,” Pentti shrugged.
 
“Not in the twenty-first century,” pointed out Storstrand.
 
“There are other parts we could chop off,” Pentti said hopefully.
 
“Rocks, I cannot deal with this,” muttered Wuopio, the Prime Minister. Louder, she added “if the Royals defy the public vote, the international community will not stand for it. I do not think a single one of our direct neighbours – despite their differences with each other – would side with the Royals. To Lauchenoiria and Greater Acadia, they are an anachronism; and to Kerlile they are governed by male primogeniture, which is practically a deadly sin. The Royals know this; they are unlikely to try anything violent.”
 
“What about non-violent?” Storstrand asked. “I agree that civil war would be unlikely, but I would not rule out attempts at rigging votes.”
 
“Our ballots have always had excellent security,” Wuopio replied. “With everything being on paper, hacking is impossible. And international observers are welcome, should any wish to come.”
 
“With everything being on paper, it is virtually impossible to detect if tampering occurred,” Storstrand countered. “It is, frankly, primitive.”

“And bad for the environment,” Johansen piped up. “Though I can’t say the sourcing of computer chips has been much better. Everything seems bad for the environment,” he added glumly.
 
“I’m with the Prime Minister here,” Pentti shrugged. “It’s way more effort to rig a paper ballot than hack an electronic one.”
 
“You would know, being a Kerlian spy,” Johansen retorted. “And I bet you just said that to disagree with me!”
 
“Before you two get started again,” Aalto interrupted quickly, “I don’t think paper-vs-electronic is the big question here. If we keep our eye on known monarchists it won’t matter.”
 
“She has a point,” Storstrand added. “Alas, under present Zongongian law, such a thing would not be legal.”
 
“We’re the government, we can change that,” shrugged Pentti.
 
“You misunderstand democracy, gynarchist,” Johansen snapped. “We can’t just ‘change that’ on a whim. We govern with the consent of the people.”
 
“Stop speaking over me!” Pentti shouted, even though Johansen had not, in fact, spoken over her.
 
“Oh my rocks, how about this: we invite international observers, then if they see anything dodgy they will say something. Get some from monarchies, from republics, from communist and capitalist countries, from Kerlile and Novella Islands and any other specific requests! It’s clear we cannot figure a fool-proof situation, so why not outsource the problem?”
 
“If we get observers from a wide range of countries, it may well work. As long as people can trust they won’t have their own agendas,” Johansen mused.
 
“Or that their agendas are opposed, so that if they agree it is clearly not ideological,” Storstrand agreed.
 
“As long as you do indeed include Kerlile,” Pentti said pointedly.
 
“And somewhere sympathetic to communism,” added Aalto.
 
“Very well. Observers we shall have,” Wuopio concluded, ending the meeting.

[Lauchenoiria]

Contrary to popular belief, Emma Storstrand was not a Novellan spy. She was simply in love with their culture and ethos, but had no connections with their state prior to joining the coalition; and now no more than the standard diplomatic connections that a leader of a junior coalition partner would have. They were a source of inspiration, and no more.

Quite in keeping with popular belief, Alexandra Pentti was a Kerlian spy. She was not, however, an Aurora; but rather your bog-standard native-born Zongongian who had been recruited by an alleged diplomatic attaché working in the Kerlian embassy. The traditional route. Her colleagues either knew, or strongly suspected, but there was insufficient proof, and they believed that keeping one’s enemies close was a valid strategy.

This would turn out to be a mistake. But that is not yet our story.

Our story is that a journalist, making her way to a bathroom shortly after debates were over for the day, would open the incorrect door – whether by accident or snooping would never be determined – and stumbled upon Pentti and her Green Ecology colleague/rival/frenemy Jacob Johansen engaged in, shall we say, amorous relations.

It was on the front page of the journalist’s newspaper website within fifteen minutes. And now the story was that Johansen had been corrupted by Kerlile. The paper expected the sort of general anti-Kerlile outrage that usually followed such stories. They were in for a shock.

What followed was a general fatigue among the Zongongian population with what online commenters called “anti-Kerlian propaganda”.

“Don’t they have anything else to talk about????” one post read.

“Pointless #KerlileBad headlines. Must be a day ending in Y.”

“Not everyone is a spy omg – they’re just doing this to justify more surveillance. Get wise!”

“No but think about it – this is religious right-wing propaganda! Equating sex with corruption; equating women with corruption. Think about what they stand to gain!”

And on it went. The Zongongian media’s go-to of badmouthing Kerlile was still getting attention, but it was no longer supportive. And even though Pentti was indeed in communication with Kerlile, it seemed like people would no longer wish to know.