[Lauchenoiria]

The unwilling members of the Salad Land Lizard Capture Service did not know, or care, about Xiomeran election interference. They did not care about the future of Salad Land. They did, however, care about their own futures, and they knew one thing - the Marquis de Salad was much easier to work with than a less… unusual government would be. After all, the good members of the Lizard Capture Service were quite weird themselves.

It was to this end that they wrote the Marquis a secret letter, to be delivered by a messenger skilled at entering spaces unnoticed through the smallest of entrances. (Yes, we are talking about a cat. Did you really think it would be anything else?)

The letter read thus:

Dear Marquis Bastien de Salad,

We, your loyal members of the Salad Land Lizard Capture Service, are distraught and disheartened to learn of the Prime Minister’s betrayal of you and the values of Salad. We have worked hard to rid this land of the plague of lizards, but we now propose another direction:

We can use the lizards, and the beasts of your new ally (your cat’s father-in-law, King Shapur of Zargothrax) to defeat the enemies of the House of de Salad! Additionally, if you need any last-minute candidates for any minor seats, we have a great idea. This will work best in places with lots of people who are chronically online.

If you wish to take us up on our offer, we shall be contactable via the Parrot House, South Beach.

Yours,

Yousef et al.