03-07-2024, 06:40 AM
February 1st
As the Marquis waited (and waited) for his chance to speak with the Empress of Xiomera, the Imperial military settled into their occupation of Salad Land.
"Settled" was, perhaps, not quite the word.
The Saladians themselves weren't putting up any overt resistance to the Xiomeran presence. The many cats on the islands were taking care of that for them, thanks to Ambassador El-Amin's prank. The Xiomeran soldiers deployed to Salad Land were quite beside themselves trying to fend off their feline tormentors. Nothing seemed to keep the wily cats out of the Xiomeran camps, their vehicles, or even their clothes. The prank had also left everything with a distinct smell of cat food, which was another annoyance for the Xiomerans to deal with. Overall, despite being on what was normally a tropical paradise, most of the Xiomerans were wishing they had stayed home.
The Xiomerans weren't just finding the cats unwelcoming. While the Saladians weren't openly resisting their occupation, it was clear that they held no great love for their occupiers either. Wherever the Xiomerans went on the islands, service suddenly became exceptionally slow and incompetent, prices unexpectedly rose, and all conversation ceased as unfriendly eyes silently stared at the occupiers. The Xiomerans were also finding that Saladians, having a streak of piracy in them, were quite adept at making off with their valuables and their equipment. All in all, it was hardly a vacation. Even when the exasperated Xiomerans instituted a curfew and checkpoints around the islands, things just kept turning up missing. Or cat-infested.
General Tecalca and his soldiers were therefore quite relieved when the Empress finally deigned to meet with the Marquis. She had held off for several days to make a point. By this point, the Xiomeran soldiers present weren't sure what point was being made or by who.
---
The Marquis was brought into his own throne room by two Xiomeran soldiers, and roughly placed on his throne. A video setup had already been put in place for his meeting with the Empress.
In Tlālacuetztla, the Empress calmly started the video call. She stared expressionlessly at the Marquis, waiting for him to speak. He didn't wait long. "Empress! Hello and good morning! Thank you ever so much for meeting with me," Bastien said warmly. "I am gratified that you appear to be doing well."
Calhualyana smiled slightly. "Marquis. I do not mind sparing a moment to have this conversation, but to be honest, I am not sure what we have to discuss. General Tecalca, as my representative, provided my terms to you. Is there a question or something that was somehow not clear?"
"Oh, everything was clear. But Saladians love a good parley, and I believe we actually have much to talk about." The Marquis grinned as he sat up on his throne. "The terms presented to us are just a bit excessive. Surely we can negotiate something a bit more reasonable."
The Empress arched an eyebrow. This I have to hear. "And what would you suggest?"
"Well, first of all, I can't very well ask Leighton Taylor to step down. He is the elected leader of our nation, after all. I know you understand the importance of such elections, since you have them in Xiomera with your Prime Minister and your XCP." This statement was offered with a broad smile, without any trace of the sarcasm and mockery it surely deserved. "Also, simply giving you part of our country is excessive. Wallington Island may be uninhabited, but it is still part of our country. Surely Xiomera would not part with its land without compensation, especially for a minor dispute."
Calhualyana laughed without humor. "Minor dispute? Your government owes two Xiomeran companies 74 million quetzals. You seized billions more in our funds in your financial system. You insulted Almahuatzan, a prominent Xiomeran official. All of this was caused by you. And you expect compensation? You are indeed as bold as I have been told. But unlike most, I am not won over by your questionable charms. I possess your entire country and don't have to offer you terms at all. You will need to negotiate better than that."
The Marquis smiled even more broadly. "I can do that! See, here's the situation as I see it. Xiomera is a powerful nation, and indeed, you could hold Salad Land indefinitely. Your army has more people in it than my entire country's population. But you have commitments to Eikangard, to the Kerlians, and to the rest of your far-flung empire. Even the great Xiomeran Empire can be overstretched. And you are, Empress, whether you acknowledge that to the world or not. A long term occupation in Neria is not in your best interest. We both know that. In a few months, you may have to be dealing with problems much closer to home. Say, for example, that Neina Arana becomes the leader of Milintica. You'll need your troops ready to deal with her, not wandering around thousands of miles from home wasting time in Salad Land."
As Calhualyana's expression sharpened, the Marquis waved his hand. "There is also the fact that the world is, shall we say, growing tired of Xiomeran displays of power. You have acted in Huenya, in Auria, and probably in other places as well. For that, you have won yourself sanctions, condemnations and growing scrutiny from entities such as LIDUN. I am not sure, honestly, if you believe the world will remain silent and complacent about Xiomera's actions indefinitely. And certainly, no one else in the world would risk their own lives and treasure to defend my poor little country. But let's be realistic. For every action Xiomera takes, that is another nail in your potential coffin in the opinion of the rest of the world. Sooner or later, if you keep acting so boldly, the final nail will be hammered. The world will turn against you. And even Xiomera cannot withstand that. Will Salad Land be that final nail? Maybe not. Probably not. But do you really want to take that chance when you don't have to? Or do you want to hear me out?"
The Empress mused, chin in hand. "That is a....surprisingly coherent argument," she finally admitted. "I will reward you for that by hearing the rest of what you have to say."
Bastien smiled again. "Wonderful. Here is what I propose. We will release the funds currently being held as sanctions against Xiomera for its actions in Huenya. Leighton made that decision without consulting me, and I frankly think it was a foolish decision. Salad Land is traditionally neutral and open to everyone, and we don't get involved in foreign affairs. Besides, the conflict in Huenya seems to be coming to an end, and I don't see the point for such sanctions anymore. As for Wallington Island...I propose that we offer it to you in exchange for the debt that we owe Mizhua and Zacuetz. Salad Land will never be able to repay 74 million quetzals, but a new conquest for Xiomera should prove more valuable to you than a debt that my country can never hope to repay to some corporations that are subordinate to you in any event. That debt is a minor write off on the books of two giant corporations like that anyway."
Calhualyana shook her head in amazement. "I already occupy your country. Why should I do that? Why should I do any of this?"
Bastien stopped smiling. "Because it's the best deal for both Xiomera and for us. You get what you want - a foothold in Neria. A new colony to present to your people, as another achievement for your 'new Empire'. You get your assets freed. And most of all, you get it all in a way that you can present to the world as a mutual agreement between Xiomera and Salad Land. That should be much more palatable to the international community than terms forced on Salad Land at the point of a gun, and prevent any more damage to your status in the international community. You also avoid having to occupy a hostile land and deal with having your troops tied down so far from home. Or...you can continue on the present course. You can occupy us, overthrow me and our Prime Minister, and be stretched dealing with us while encouraging the world to be even more concerned about you. One approach benefits Xiomera far more than the other, and I am confident you are wise enough to see which one that is."
The Empress stared at the Marquis for a long moment. "You are not the great fool that you present yourself as, are you?" she finally said.
"I have my moments," Bastien replied. "So, do we have a deal?"
"Very well. We have a deal," Calhualyana replied with a wry shake of her head.
"Wonderful! It has been a pleasure doing business with you, Callie," the Marquis said warmly.
The Empress paused. "Indeed. Just one more thing." As the Marquis looked at her questioningly, the Empress frowned grimly. "Don't ever call me Callie again. In fact...you might best want to avoid calling me again altogether." As the call ended, the Marquis sighed with relief. I did it, and I'm not dead. Huh.
As the Marquis waited (and waited) for his chance to speak with the Empress of Xiomera, the Imperial military settled into their occupation of Salad Land.
"Settled" was, perhaps, not quite the word.
The Saladians themselves weren't putting up any overt resistance to the Xiomeran presence. The many cats on the islands were taking care of that for them, thanks to Ambassador El-Amin's prank. The Xiomeran soldiers deployed to Salad Land were quite beside themselves trying to fend off their feline tormentors. Nothing seemed to keep the wily cats out of the Xiomeran camps, their vehicles, or even their clothes. The prank had also left everything with a distinct smell of cat food, which was another annoyance for the Xiomerans to deal with. Overall, despite being on what was normally a tropical paradise, most of the Xiomerans were wishing they had stayed home.
The Xiomerans weren't just finding the cats unwelcoming. While the Saladians weren't openly resisting their occupation, it was clear that they held no great love for their occupiers either. Wherever the Xiomerans went on the islands, service suddenly became exceptionally slow and incompetent, prices unexpectedly rose, and all conversation ceased as unfriendly eyes silently stared at the occupiers. The Xiomerans were also finding that Saladians, having a streak of piracy in them, were quite adept at making off with their valuables and their equipment. All in all, it was hardly a vacation. Even when the exasperated Xiomerans instituted a curfew and checkpoints around the islands, things just kept turning up missing. Or cat-infested.
General Tecalca and his soldiers were therefore quite relieved when the Empress finally deigned to meet with the Marquis. She had held off for several days to make a point. By this point, the Xiomeran soldiers present weren't sure what point was being made or by who.
---
The Marquis was brought into his own throne room by two Xiomeran soldiers, and roughly placed on his throne. A video setup had already been put in place for his meeting with the Empress.
In Tlālacuetztla, the Empress calmly started the video call. She stared expressionlessly at the Marquis, waiting for him to speak. He didn't wait long. "Empress! Hello and good morning! Thank you ever so much for meeting with me," Bastien said warmly. "I am gratified that you appear to be doing well."
Calhualyana smiled slightly. "Marquis. I do not mind sparing a moment to have this conversation, but to be honest, I am not sure what we have to discuss. General Tecalca, as my representative, provided my terms to you. Is there a question or something that was somehow not clear?"
"Oh, everything was clear. But Saladians love a good parley, and I believe we actually have much to talk about." The Marquis grinned as he sat up on his throne. "The terms presented to us are just a bit excessive. Surely we can negotiate something a bit more reasonable."
The Empress arched an eyebrow. This I have to hear. "And what would you suggest?"
"Well, first of all, I can't very well ask Leighton Taylor to step down. He is the elected leader of our nation, after all. I know you understand the importance of such elections, since you have them in Xiomera with your Prime Minister and your XCP." This statement was offered with a broad smile, without any trace of the sarcasm and mockery it surely deserved. "Also, simply giving you part of our country is excessive. Wallington Island may be uninhabited, but it is still part of our country. Surely Xiomera would not part with its land without compensation, especially for a minor dispute."
Calhualyana laughed without humor. "Minor dispute? Your government owes two Xiomeran companies 74 million quetzals. You seized billions more in our funds in your financial system. You insulted Almahuatzan, a prominent Xiomeran official. All of this was caused by you. And you expect compensation? You are indeed as bold as I have been told. But unlike most, I am not won over by your questionable charms. I possess your entire country and don't have to offer you terms at all. You will need to negotiate better than that."
The Marquis smiled even more broadly. "I can do that! See, here's the situation as I see it. Xiomera is a powerful nation, and indeed, you could hold Salad Land indefinitely. Your army has more people in it than my entire country's population. But you have commitments to Eikangard, to the Kerlians, and to the rest of your far-flung empire. Even the great Xiomeran Empire can be overstretched. And you are, Empress, whether you acknowledge that to the world or not. A long term occupation in Neria is not in your best interest. We both know that. In a few months, you may have to be dealing with problems much closer to home. Say, for example, that Neina Arana becomes the leader of Milintica. You'll need your troops ready to deal with her, not wandering around thousands of miles from home wasting time in Salad Land."
As Calhualyana's expression sharpened, the Marquis waved his hand. "There is also the fact that the world is, shall we say, growing tired of Xiomeran displays of power. You have acted in Huenya, in Auria, and probably in other places as well. For that, you have won yourself sanctions, condemnations and growing scrutiny from entities such as LIDUN. I am not sure, honestly, if you believe the world will remain silent and complacent about Xiomera's actions indefinitely. And certainly, no one else in the world would risk their own lives and treasure to defend my poor little country. But let's be realistic. For every action Xiomera takes, that is another nail in your potential coffin in the opinion of the rest of the world. Sooner or later, if you keep acting so boldly, the final nail will be hammered. The world will turn against you. And even Xiomera cannot withstand that. Will Salad Land be that final nail? Maybe not. Probably not. But do you really want to take that chance when you don't have to? Or do you want to hear me out?"
The Empress mused, chin in hand. "That is a....surprisingly coherent argument," she finally admitted. "I will reward you for that by hearing the rest of what you have to say."
Bastien smiled again. "Wonderful. Here is what I propose. We will release the funds currently being held as sanctions against Xiomera for its actions in Huenya. Leighton made that decision without consulting me, and I frankly think it was a foolish decision. Salad Land is traditionally neutral and open to everyone, and we don't get involved in foreign affairs. Besides, the conflict in Huenya seems to be coming to an end, and I don't see the point for such sanctions anymore. As for Wallington Island...I propose that we offer it to you in exchange for the debt that we owe Mizhua and Zacuetz. Salad Land will never be able to repay 74 million quetzals, but a new conquest for Xiomera should prove more valuable to you than a debt that my country can never hope to repay to some corporations that are subordinate to you in any event. That debt is a minor write off on the books of two giant corporations like that anyway."
Calhualyana shook her head in amazement. "I already occupy your country. Why should I do that? Why should I do any of this?"
Bastien stopped smiling. "Because it's the best deal for both Xiomera and for us. You get what you want - a foothold in Neria. A new colony to present to your people, as another achievement for your 'new Empire'. You get your assets freed. And most of all, you get it all in a way that you can present to the world as a mutual agreement between Xiomera and Salad Land. That should be much more palatable to the international community than terms forced on Salad Land at the point of a gun, and prevent any more damage to your status in the international community. You also avoid having to occupy a hostile land and deal with having your troops tied down so far from home. Or...you can continue on the present course. You can occupy us, overthrow me and our Prime Minister, and be stretched dealing with us while encouraging the world to be even more concerned about you. One approach benefits Xiomera far more than the other, and I am confident you are wise enough to see which one that is."
The Empress stared at the Marquis for a long moment. "You are not the great fool that you present yourself as, are you?" she finally said.
"I have my moments," Bastien replied. "So, do we have a deal?"
"Very well. We have a deal," Calhualyana replied with a wry shake of her head.
"Wonderful! It has been a pleasure doing business with you, Callie," the Marquis said warmly.
The Empress paused. "Indeed. Just one more thing." As the Marquis looked at her questioningly, the Empress frowned grimly. "Don't ever call me Callie again. In fact...you might best want to avoid calling me again altogether." As the call ended, the Marquis sighed with relief. I did it, and I'm not dead. Huh.
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