03-02-2024, 12:03 AM
Also January 23
The Thraxian ambassador to Salad Land was fairly new to his job, having been appointed to replace his predecessor after the cat wedding and the newfound friendship between the two nations. He had been chosen specifically by King Shapur because he was someone who got on well with the King and who would indulge his every madness.
Not that Ambassador Arif El-Amin was mad; he merely had a very juvenile sense of humour and thus found Shapur’s policies to be the height of comedy. He firmly believed that the world would be a better place if everyone was just a little more willing to find the joy in life, and rather than feel rage at the world to laugh at all it threw at you.
Salad Land being invaded by Xiomera was one of those things. Ambassador El-Amin viewed this as a perfect opportunity to bring some humour into the situation. He carefully considered his options, being unable to contact home, and alighted on a perfect plan. All he would need was some chronically online young people, and tins of cat food.
He recruited his chronically online young people fairly easily; by going onto the most currently-popular video streaming app and sorting livestreams by “near me”. He watched a few before finding a pair of nineteen-year-olds pranking random tourists. Then he took a stroll to the vicinity and waited for them to say goodbye to their followers and turn the camera off. Once it was stashed away, he approached.
“How would you like a job?” he asked in heavily-accented English, showing them some cash.
*
Several hours later, he had supplied his new hires with the cat food. They then went systematically across the island, smearing cat food onto all the Xiomeran items they could get near. The pranksters were skilled at sneaking in places to place things; hence the Ambassador’s choice of agent. Thieves took things away; pranksters added things to the scene - and that is precisely what he wanted.
The cat food was additionally laced with catnip. Salad Land was still covered in an excessive number of cats following the “war”, as many feline soldiers had chosen to retire to the island (or, at least, that was the official line, rather than “it’s hard to get the cats to go back on the ships”). The pranksters even did extra, and managed to get the catnip into the pockets of some Xiomeran army uniforms.
And soon, the cats began to come. They’d flock to the Xiomerans, climbing over their equipment and biting at their clothes. Every time a Xiomeran got one off, two more would have replaced it. Truly, it was just the cat-astrophe required.
The Thraxian ambassador to Salad Land was fairly new to his job, having been appointed to replace his predecessor after the cat wedding and the newfound friendship between the two nations. He had been chosen specifically by King Shapur because he was someone who got on well with the King and who would indulge his every madness.
Not that Ambassador Arif El-Amin was mad; he merely had a very juvenile sense of humour and thus found Shapur’s policies to be the height of comedy. He firmly believed that the world would be a better place if everyone was just a little more willing to find the joy in life, and rather than feel rage at the world to laugh at all it threw at you.
Salad Land being invaded by Xiomera was one of those things. Ambassador El-Amin viewed this as a perfect opportunity to bring some humour into the situation. He carefully considered his options, being unable to contact home, and alighted on a perfect plan. All he would need was some chronically online young people, and tins of cat food.
He recruited his chronically online young people fairly easily; by going onto the most currently-popular video streaming app and sorting livestreams by “near me”. He watched a few before finding a pair of nineteen-year-olds pranking random tourists. Then he took a stroll to the vicinity and waited for them to say goodbye to their followers and turn the camera off. Once it was stashed away, he approached.
“How would you like a job?” he asked in heavily-accented English, showing them some cash.
*
Several hours later, he had supplied his new hires with the cat food. They then went systematically across the island, smearing cat food onto all the Xiomeran items they could get near. The pranksters were skilled at sneaking in places to place things; hence the Ambassador’s choice of agent. Thieves took things away; pranksters added things to the scene - and that is precisely what he wanted.
The cat food was additionally laced with catnip. Salad Land was still covered in an excessive number of cats following the “war”, as many feline soldiers had chosen to retire to the island (or, at least, that was the official line, rather than “it’s hard to get the cats to go back on the ships”). The pranksters even did extra, and managed to get the catnip into the pockets of some Xiomeran army uniforms.
And soon, the cats began to come. They’d flock to the Xiomerans, climbing over their equipment and biting at their clothes. Every time a Xiomeran got one off, two more would have replaced it. Truly, it was just the cat-astrophe required.
LIDUN President 2024 | she/her | Puppets: Kerlile, Glanainn, Yesteria, Zongongia, Zargothrax