02-27-2024, 01:39 AM
January 23
The Thraxian Royal Army's Feline Division had never seen so much work. Granted, it had not existed this time last year. And granted, all the work was relating to the smallest, strangest nation in the IDU.
The cat-soldiers were preparing to once more deploy to Salad Land. (Okay, "preparing" in this context meant sleeping in a pile. But still). The difference this time was that they were being sent not to invade the island but to liberate it from other invaders.
Shapur in all his wisdom had decided that he needed to assist his cat's new parents-in-law and their country from the Xiomerans. He had not, however, recalled the general uselessness of domestic cats in warfare - especially against such a powerful foe as the Xiomerans.
Perhaps he should have hired feral cats instead.
Chief Advisor Hashemi had been forced to put his own plots aside to talk Shapur out of formally declaring war on Xiomera. Hashemi had completely lost control of his puppet king. The plotting adviser had been unable to plot properly for months. Shapur was breaking out of his cult; a missing 11-year-old knew far too much; and one of Shapur's cats had bitten off part of his toe, as if the creature knew the threat he posed.
But all Hashemi's plans (and Shapur's, and Leila's, and the unknown Kerlian's) would be in the toilet if the fool started a war with the world's most belligerent quasi-superpower.
Even the cats knew that!
*
The parrot breeder in the pirate costume, who called herself Zelda (not her real name) had initially found it amusing when the entire Salad Land Lizard Capture Service had come to hide in her one-room beach shack with her and her ten parrots.
The amusement lasted about 30 minutes before Zelda regretted her agreement. Five adult humans, three adult parrots, and eight juvenile parrots was far too many beings for a one-room beach shack. There wasn't even an indoor toilet!
Still, Zelda saw the necessity of keeping Citlalnite from the Xiomerans. She was associated with him, after all, and they were not known for their mercy. So this - in all its squawking horror - would have to suffice for now. Unfortunately.
The Thraxian Royal Army's Feline Division had never seen so much work. Granted, it had not existed this time last year. And granted, all the work was relating to the smallest, strangest nation in the IDU.
The cat-soldiers were preparing to once more deploy to Salad Land. (Okay, "preparing" in this context meant sleeping in a pile. But still). The difference this time was that they were being sent not to invade the island but to liberate it from other invaders.
Shapur in all his wisdom had decided that he needed to assist his cat's new parents-in-law and their country from the Xiomerans. He had not, however, recalled the general uselessness of domestic cats in warfare - especially against such a powerful foe as the Xiomerans.
Perhaps he should have hired feral cats instead.
Chief Advisor Hashemi had been forced to put his own plots aside to talk Shapur out of formally declaring war on Xiomera. Hashemi had completely lost control of his puppet king. The plotting adviser had been unable to plot properly for months. Shapur was breaking out of his cult; a missing 11-year-old knew far too much; and one of Shapur's cats had bitten off part of his toe, as if the creature knew the threat he posed.
But all Hashemi's plans (and Shapur's, and Leila's, and the unknown Kerlian's) would be in the toilet if the fool started a war with the world's most belligerent quasi-superpower.
Even the cats knew that!
*
The parrot breeder in the pirate costume, who called herself Zelda (not her real name) had initially found it amusing when the entire Salad Land Lizard Capture Service had come to hide in her one-room beach shack with her and her ten parrots.
The amusement lasted about 30 minutes before Zelda regretted her agreement. Five adult humans, three adult parrots, and eight juvenile parrots was far too many beings for a one-room beach shack. There wasn't even an indoor toilet!
Still, Zelda saw the necessity of keeping Citlalnite from the Xiomerans. She was associated with him, after all, and they were not known for their mercy. So this - in all its squawking horror - would have to suffice for now. Unfortunately.
LIDUN President 2024 | she/her | Puppets: Kerlile, Glanainn, Yesteria, Zongongia, Zargothrax