08-22-2023, 12:33 AM
“Will none of you volunteer!?” King Shapur whined at his children. The group stared at their father in weary resignation.
“I don’t want to find out what the inside of a Saladian prison looks like, and there’s no way this ends in any other fashion,” the 17-year-old Prince Golshan retorted.
“My brother is right,” Crown Prince Bahman nodded. “And besides, this whole thing is ridiculously old-fashioned. Has nobody here heard of sending an email?”
“But we need to send a royal messenger!” the King insisted. “It’s only polite! To show them we are so very serious about our threat!”
“There is no part of this that one could call serious,” fourteen-year-old Princess Mina pointed out, while adjusting her makeup in a portable gem-covered mirror.
“YES IT IS!” the King said, stomping a foot. “If they don’t surrender, we will send DOGS and MICE which with the cats already there will cause CHAOS!”
“Father!” Bahman shouted. “You know my opinions on the matter, but I really think you ought to reconsider abdication. You can spend more time on your experiments, and…”
“Let me stop you there,” Shapur growled. “Or I’ll have to throw YOU in the dungeon too.”
Prince Bahman wisely shut up.
“If none of you volunteer to go, I’ll choose one of you at random,” the King declared.
“But I ALSO don’t want to end up stuck in a Saladian prison, far away from home,” whined 10-year-old Prince Jahangir.
Stuck… far away from home. Princess Leila stood up. “I’ll go!”
The others turned to her. “Sister, do not be a fool,” Bahman told her. “Regardless of what Father says, if any of us set foot in Salad Land, they will lock us up.”
Duh, that’s the point, Leila thought. Far away from Father’s infernal cat law.
“I’m willing to take the risk,” the 11-year-old Princess said gravely.
“Excellent!” King Shapur clapped his hands. “Then it’s settled! Leila will deliver our ultimatum, and will come back triumphant, following a Saladian surrender!”
“There is no way...” Bahman began.
“NOW! Onto the next matter!” King Shapur interrupted. “Several of my Generals have resigned because of their cowardice when it comes to a REAL war!”
“I don’t think that’s why they resigned,” Mina snorted, applying eyeliner.
“So, I need someone I can trust in the position. Golshan, what about it? You’re second-oldest, it would be a fitting position for you.”
“Hard pass,” Golshan snorted. “I’m not taking any part in your insane cat war.”
“Well, it can’t be Bahman, as he’s Crown Prince. And it can’t be Mina or Leila, as they’re girls. So if you won’t, then Jahangir, what about you?”
“I’m literally ten years old,” the young prince pointed out.
“Well, I won’t trust anyone outside the family, and Amir is about to be declared Royal Wizard!” the King whined.
“Amir is seven years old, and there is no such thing as wizards!” Bahman blurted out, infuriated. “Father, you are clearly not fit to rule.”
“Don’t make me do this son,” the King warned.
Bahman paused, weighing up the likelihood of staging a successful coup right now, versus getting sent to the dungeon. And while he fancied his chances, he didn’t want the risk. He backed down.
“Excellent! So, Jahangir! What does our newest General suggest we do next?”
“Uh…” the 10-year-old blinked, unsure what just happened.
“This is insane,” Mina remarked again. “Golshan is the only sensible one here. Bahman is a coward, Leila actively wants to end up in a Saladian prison, and you two,” she pointed at the youngest pair, “are going along with this?”
“I want to be the Royal Wizard!” Prince Amir, age 7, said, pulling out a toy wand and waving it around. “Then I get to talk to dragons and cast spells and other fun things!”
“I just don’t want to end up in the dungeon,” Jahangir shrugged. “I’m just going with it.”
“Dungeons! That’s it!” the King said, clapping his hands. “Son, you’re a genius! Right, come with me to a war meeting. Leila, go prepare for your journey. Amir, go prepare for your ceremony. And you three, my eldest children… one foot out of line and I will be forced to question if you have Saladian sympathies. Onwards!”
Princess Mina waited until their father had left the room, then looked at her two elder brothers. “If I end up in a freaking dungeon, I will kill both of you. Do something about him.”
*
Princess Leila had considered her decision further, and the more she thought about it, the more she understood that nothing that faced her in Salad Land could be worse than what was happening here at home. Quite aside from the cats, her father naming a ten-year-old commander of the military, and claiming that Prince Amir could cast spells, had already sent visible waves of discontent throughout Castle Zargo.
When she snuck out to tell her Kerlian contact of her task to go and threaten the Marquis in person, the woman had first been displeased, and then - thinking it through - had declared that it was actually better for her plans if Leila was outside of the capital during this period of potential domestic unrest. She had, however, been instructed to keep her involvement with the woman a secret, on pain of death.
Now, on a Thraxian ship approaching Salad Land, Princess Leila felt the first wave of fear wash over her. The Marquis was hardly more predictable than her father, and he had thrown his own Prime Minister into prison according to reports. She would be entirely at his mercy. Still, if she instructed them to turn back now, her father would in all likelihood do worse to her. She had made her decision; she would have to live with it.
The Saladians had been informed that Princess Leila had arrived with an urgent message for the Marquis de Salad from the King of Zargothrax. They allowed her ship to dock, though as they approached she could see a number of heavily armed guards awaiting her. And, curiously, a man in a lizard hat holding a large animal cage.
"Good morning," a man leading the guards told Leila once she disembarked. "I am Dominic Gardner, Steward of the House of de Salad. Please follow me." He led Leila to an elderly and rather fancy limousine painted a brilliant green. The vehicle drove the two of them, along with the man in the lizard hat, to the Palace de Salad. Leila was treated to an excellent view of the harbor as they drove.
Leila breathed deeply. Despite the cat invasion, Salad Land at least had some level of a breeze, unlike the still and stifling atmosphere in Castle Zargo. And no cats had been in the limousine, thankfully. Indeed, she had rarely ever been outside of Zargothrax, so this was a treat for her. She made sure that she didn’t give anything away, however. Despite this being an excuse to get the hell away from the cats, she would still do her duty.
“I don’t want to find out what the inside of a Saladian prison looks like, and there’s no way this ends in any other fashion,” the 17-year-old Prince Golshan retorted.
“My brother is right,” Crown Prince Bahman nodded. “And besides, this whole thing is ridiculously old-fashioned. Has nobody here heard of sending an email?”
“But we need to send a royal messenger!” the King insisted. “It’s only polite! To show them we are so very serious about our threat!”
“There is no part of this that one could call serious,” fourteen-year-old Princess Mina pointed out, while adjusting her makeup in a portable gem-covered mirror.
“YES IT IS!” the King said, stomping a foot. “If they don’t surrender, we will send DOGS and MICE which with the cats already there will cause CHAOS!”
“Father!” Bahman shouted. “You know my opinions on the matter, but I really think you ought to reconsider abdication. You can spend more time on your experiments, and…”
“Let me stop you there,” Shapur growled. “Or I’ll have to throw YOU in the dungeon too.”
Prince Bahman wisely shut up.
“If none of you volunteer to go, I’ll choose one of you at random,” the King declared.
“But I ALSO don’t want to end up stuck in a Saladian prison, far away from home,” whined 10-year-old Prince Jahangir.
Stuck… far away from home. Princess Leila stood up. “I’ll go!”
The others turned to her. “Sister, do not be a fool,” Bahman told her. “Regardless of what Father says, if any of us set foot in Salad Land, they will lock us up.”
Duh, that’s the point, Leila thought. Far away from Father’s infernal cat law.
“I’m willing to take the risk,” the 11-year-old Princess said gravely.
“Excellent!” King Shapur clapped his hands. “Then it’s settled! Leila will deliver our ultimatum, and will come back triumphant, following a Saladian surrender!”
“There is no way...” Bahman began.
“NOW! Onto the next matter!” King Shapur interrupted. “Several of my Generals have resigned because of their cowardice when it comes to a REAL war!”
“I don’t think that’s why they resigned,” Mina snorted, applying eyeliner.
“So, I need someone I can trust in the position. Golshan, what about it? You’re second-oldest, it would be a fitting position for you.”
“Hard pass,” Golshan snorted. “I’m not taking any part in your insane cat war.”
“Well, it can’t be Bahman, as he’s Crown Prince. And it can’t be Mina or Leila, as they’re girls. So if you won’t, then Jahangir, what about you?”
“I’m literally ten years old,” the young prince pointed out.
“Well, I won’t trust anyone outside the family, and Amir is about to be declared Royal Wizard!” the King whined.
“Amir is seven years old, and there is no such thing as wizards!” Bahman blurted out, infuriated. “Father, you are clearly not fit to rule.”
“Don’t make me do this son,” the King warned.
Bahman paused, weighing up the likelihood of staging a successful coup right now, versus getting sent to the dungeon. And while he fancied his chances, he didn’t want the risk. He backed down.
“Excellent! So, Jahangir! What does our newest General suggest we do next?”
“Uh…” the 10-year-old blinked, unsure what just happened.
“This is insane,” Mina remarked again. “Golshan is the only sensible one here. Bahman is a coward, Leila actively wants to end up in a Saladian prison, and you two,” she pointed at the youngest pair, “are going along with this?”
“I want to be the Royal Wizard!” Prince Amir, age 7, said, pulling out a toy wand and waving it around. “Then I get to talk to dragons and cast spells and other fun things!”
“I just don’t want to end up in the dungeon,” Jahangir shrugged. “I’m just going with it.”
“Dungeons! That’s it!” the King said, clapping his hands. “Son, you’re a genius! Right, come with me to a war meeting. Leila, go prepare for your journey. Amir, go prepare for your ceremony. And you three, my eldest children… one foot out of line and I will be forced to question if you have Saladian sympathies. Onwards!”
Princess Mina waited until their father had left the room, then looked at her two elder brothers. “If I end up in a freaking dungeon, I will kill both of you. Do something about him.”
*
Princess Leila had considered her decision further, and the more she thought about it, the more she understood that nothing that faced her in Salad Land could be worse than what was happening here at home. Quite aside from the cats, her father naming a ten-year-old commander of the military, and claiming that Prince Amir could cast spells, had already sent visible waves of discontent throughout Castle Zargo.
When she snuck out to tell her Kerlian contact of her task to go and threaten the Marquis in person, the woman had first been displeased, and then - thinking it through - had declared that it was actually better for her plans if Leila was outside of the capital during this period of potential domestic unrest. She had, however, been instructed to keep her involvement with the woman a secret, on pain of death.
Now, on a Thraxian ship approaching Salad Land, Princess Leila felt the first wave of fear wash over her. The Marquis was hardly more predictable than her father, and he had thrown his own Prime Minister into prison according to reports. She would be entirely at his mercy. Still, if she instructed them to turn back now, her father would in all likelihood do worse to her. She had made her decision; she would have to live with it.
The Saladians had been informed that Princess Leila had arrived with an urgent message for the Marquis de Salad from the King of Zargothrax. They allowed her ship to dock, though as they approached she could see a number of heavily armed guards awaiting her. And, curiously, a man in a lizard hat holding a large animal cage.
"Good morning," a man leading the guards told Leila once she disembarked. "I am Dominic Gardner, Steward of the House of de Salad. Please follow me." He led Leila to an elderly and rather fancy limousine painted a brilliant green. The vehicle drove the two of them, along with the man in the lizard hat, to the Palace de Salad. Leila was treated to an excellent view of the harbor as they drove.
Leila breathed deeply. Despite the cat invasion, Salad Land at least had some level of a breeze, unlike the still and stifling atmosphere in Castle Zargo. And no cats had been in the limousine, thankfully. Indeed, she had rarely ever been outside of Zargothrax, so this was a treat for her. She made sure that she didn’t give anything away, however. Despite this being an excuse to get the hell away from the cats, she would still do her duty.
LIDUN President 2024 | she/her | Puppets: Kerlile, Glanainn, Yesteria, Zongongia, Zargothrax