08-14-2023, 06:57 PM
At Port Salad, the Marquis and his steward, Dominic Gardner, were enjoying a lovely morning walk on the main parapets of the Palace de Salad. "Such a beautiful morning. We are very fortunate to live in such a beautiful country, aren't we?" Gardner nodded in agreement with the Marquis. "Indeed, sir, we are. I often say that there is no more glorious sight than a sunrise in Salad Land."
"It is true, even when there is a storm coming in." The Marquis eyed the cloud more closely. "Although, that is a rather odd-looking storm...."
Gardner squinted, his vision not as sharp as that of his boss. "It does seem rather compact...and moving this way..."
Without further warning, part of the cloud detached itself from the rest and suddenly plunged downward towards the two men. "Birds! Agh!" the Marquis shouted, trying to prevent the hawks from pecking at him. In his sharp green waistcoat emblazoned with the seal of de Salad, he did rather look like a large lizard from far away.
"Ouch! It has my mustache!" Gardner batted at his head to fend off another hawk.
The two rushed back inside the Palace, as palace guards ran up to distract the hawks. "What the hell was that?" the Marquis shouted.
Gardner had just been handed a phone, and he scrolled down the screen. A look of horror mixed with irritation crossed his face. Wordlessly, he showed the Marquis the screen. King Shapur's social media post was displayed. The Marquis read the post. His face reddened, which was fortunate since it hid the scratches from hawk talons. He marched into his office and slammed the door, ignoring the attempt by Gardner to stop him.
While the Marquis was quite fond of social media, he was also nothing if not dramatic. Only a formal letter would do for his response to King Shapur.
"It is true, even when there is a storm coming in." The Marquis eyed the cloud more closely. "Although, that is a rather odd-looking storm...."
Gardner squinted, his vision not as sharp as that of his boss. "It does seem rather compact...and moving this way..."
Without further warning, part of the cloud detached itself from the rest and suddenly plunged downward towards the two men. "Birds! Agh!" the Marquis shouted, trying to prevent the hawks from pecking at him. In his sharp green waistcoat emblazoned with the seal of de Salad, he did rather look like a large lizard from far away.
"Ouch! It has my mustache!" Gardner batted at his head to fend off another hawk.
The two rushed back inside the Palace, as palace guards ran up to distract the hawks. "What the hell was that?" the Marquis shouted.
Gardner had just been handed a phone, and he scrolled down the screen. A look of horror mixed with irritation crossed his face. Wordlessly, he showed the Marquis the screen. King Shapur's social media post was displayed. The Marquis read the post. His face reddened, which was fortunate since it hid the scratches from hawk talons. He marched into his office and slammed the door, ignoring the attempt by Gardner to stop him.
While the Marquis was quite fond of social media, he was also nothing if not dramatic. Only a formal letter would do for his response to King Shapur.
Quote:To the addled monarch of Zargothrax, King Shapur XIV:
Was it not enough that you infested my country with a plague of lizards? Now you have seen fit to infest it with a plague of hawks as well, without even asking us? A pox on your lizards, a pox on your hawks, a pox on you and your house, a pox on your country and a pox on your cats!
I demand that you remove both the lizards and the hawks at once, using more conventional means than bombarding us with more insane creatures. If you do not, I shall turn your ship into firewood and have a lizard and hawk barbecue on the beach!
-Bastien de Salad, Marquis of Salad Land
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