[Lauchenoiria]

Gabriel Fleming sat in the dark room with a single desk light focused on the piece of paper in front of him. The ominous atmosphere was deliberately calibrated for his meeting with Mariya Adema, due to take place in fifteen minutes. The pair had been engaged in a competition to become Empress Calhualyana’s favourite foreigner since Fleming’s defection. Neither was a fan of the other, and when they were forced to work together, they both tried to undermine each other as much as possible - without jeopardising the aims of the Xiomeran Empire, of course.

He was presently drafting a press release of sorts, to be distributed to friendly (or gullible) media outlets which would hopefully discredit several of Xiomera’s worst enemies. It was a grown-up version of replying with “I know you are, but what am I?” to accusations levelled against Xiomera itself. Fleming intended to paint both Huenya and Lauchenoiria as imperialist wannabes, with their designs painted upon the Canal Zone. He had already fabricated certain pieces of “evidence”, and was now putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece.

The door opened, interrupting his work as Mariya Adema walked in without knocking, laughing out loud and spinning in a circle before flopping on a chair across from him. She did not bat an eyelid at the ominous atmosphere, and instead dumped a package on top of his desk, knocking several of his pens to the ground.

“Hey Gabe, you’ll never believe what I managed to get!” Mariya grinned.

“Ms Adema,” Fleming greeted her tersely. She took no heed.

“Remember the eco-terrorists?” she continued. “Well, I started writing letters to one of them back in Lauchenoiria, just for the fun of it, teasing her. Anyway, she actually responded with full-on essays I asked her to write! I can’t decide which part is funnier: that she actually wrote them, or that the Lauchenoirian postal service delivered them in the first place! Do they even check what’s in their mail?”

“No, the Lauchenoirian postal service does not pre-screen the contents of mail unless there is a specific reason to believe a crime is being committed,” Fleming responded.

“That’s so stupid! What if people are writing about plots to overthrow the government?” Mariya frowned, shaking her head at the folly of democracies.

“I do not believe that Chaher organised his coup via mail, but I could be mistaken,” Fleming replied. “Regardless, I left Lauchenoiria for a reason. Do you have what I need?”

“Ugh, you’re no fun, always straight to business. Fine, yes, I have the confession,” Mariya whined, tossing a USB stick to the spy.

“Good, this will assist with the quality of the story,” Fleming nodded. “Now, I must get back to work and I’m sure you have someone to torture, so I’ll let you get on with that.”

“Actually, everyone assigned to me already broke, but I can always go and play with one of the other eco-terrorists. They’ll probably be executed soon, so I’m doing them a favour really, making them want to die.”

“Good for you,” Fleming muttered, turning away.

“Fine, I’ll leave,” Mariya grumbled, standing up and grabbing her package, sweeping some of Fleming’s papers to the ground in the process. “Oops!” she said, then quickly ran out of the door.

“That damned Kerlian demon,” Fleming hissed as he collected his things.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Sources inside the intelligence department have revealed evidence of a concerning plot by both the Federation of Lauchenoiria and the Federation of Huenya to take control of the Canal Demilitarised Zone surrounding the Intra-Xiomeran Canal, in direct violation of the Jinyu Agreement.

Disturbing evidence of the plot includes suspicious behaviour by Lauchenoirian “peacekeepers” within the Canal Zone; suspicious Huenyan troop movements; and most damningly, a confession by a high-ranking Lauchenoirian military officer that preparations have been in place for months. Please see attached images and transcript.