[Lauchenoiria]

Jointly written with Xiomera

Yousef Chaher had made it very clear before they arrived in Salad Land that he was to do the talking. Naturally, nobody listened.

“Marquis!” the excitable Jose said, greeting the entirely wrong individual. “It’s so exciting to be in your wonderful country!”

“Arr, shiver me timbers!” squawked Tlotli, who Citlalnite had smuggled on shore in a bag out of Yousef’s sight. The pirate laughed, and started feeding the parrot some seeds out of a bag painted with a jolly roger flag.

“My apologies for the behaviour of my companions,” Yousef spoke loudly to drown out whatever Jose was going to say next. “Captain Cecona here is in an amateur acting club back in Serriel, and is a bit of a method actor. Allow me to introduce myself; I am Siraj Shahan, it is an honour to meet you.”

"Wonderful to meet you," one of the men, an older gentleman with grey hair and a handlebar mustache, said. "I am not the Marquis, however. I am Dominic Gardner, Steward to the noble house of de Salad. This gentleman next to me is Valentin Daucourt, head of our defense forces."

Daucourt, a wiry man in a green tropical uniform with a peaked cap, nodded politely.

"This is the Marquis," Gardner continued, pointing to the man on his right. A young man with black hair and vibrant green eyes, de Salad could have passed for a model - especially in the expensive and elaborate robes of office he was wearing. Before he could speak, however, another voice interrupted.

"And I am Piper Drummond. Captain of the Naval Patrol." Drummond was a short woman with bright red hair, whose height barely reached Daucourt's shoulder even with help of the peaked cap she was also wearing.

Daucourt and Gardner both had expressions on their face that clearly said Why did she show up? But their expressions were drowned out by a shout of delight from the Marquis. "Piper, darling. Always good to see you!" He wrapped her up in an expansive hug, which she managed to extricate herself from with some difficulty. 

“An honour to meet you,” Yousef said, giving a slight bow to the Marquis. “All of you,” he looked across the gathered Saladians. “This is my first time in Salad Land, what a beautiful country you have.”

“Arr, where’s me booty, landlubber!” Tlotli added. Yousef could not stop himself from groaning a little.

“As you can see, the ship we’ve arrived on doubles as our display model for you to check out. Perhaps Captain Drummond would like a tour while we get down to business?” Yousef said, hoping he could get Jose away from the negotiations.

The Marquis chuckled at Tlotli. "Smart bird. I've often asked the same question," he winked. "Piper, be a dear and tour the ship while we go talk business. Leave no stone unturned….not that they have stones on ships, but you get the idea."

With an expansive sweep of his arm, the Marquis gestured towards a set of waiting vehicles in the distance. "We'll talk at Palace de Salad. It's always nicer to do business in comfortable settings, I always say."

As the visitors who were going to the Palace began walking with the Marquis, Drummond turned and began eyeing the ship.

Jose and Citlalnite moved to stand either side of Drummond, watching her as she looked at the ship. Tlotli squawked a little and Citlalnite went to feed him while Jose threw his arms out wide. “Isn’t she a beauty!?” he said, louder than necessary.

Drummond gave her vaguely polite smile. "It is indeed quite a ship. What sort of armaments does it carry?"

“Oh! Yes,” Jose began fumbling around in his pockets until he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to Drummond. “Yous… you should read this, said Siraj!” The paper did indeed contain a list of information about the ship’s armaments and other features.

Drummond thanked Jose and began reading through the list. Seems solid enough. But why do I get the feeling this guy knows as much about this ship as I do about the breeding habits of sheep? "Would it be okay if I looked around a bit?"

"Yeah sure! Just, uh, don't touch Tlotli's food or he'll get angry," Jose said, holding up his arm that had a bandage and a few more cuts peeking out from the sides. "I learned that the hard way."

Drummond eyed the parrot. It eyed her back. She decided not to test the bird, nodded at Jose and walked aboard the ship. As she explored the vessel, it certainly looked like what it claimed to be. And yet, not. Drummond couldn't put her finger on it, but something wasn't quite right.

She came back to the dock. "Thanks for letting me look around," she said, giving Jose a big smile to alleviate any suspicions she may have given him. She then drove herself the short distance back to her quarters. Her mission: taking a look in her copy of Jen's Big Book of Fighting Ships, 2023 Edition.

Meanwhile, as they walked to the Palace de Salad, Yousef was rattling off ship facts he’d memorised the night before while Cranston trailed behind him, ever-silent. “And with the new paint job, you can begin patrols immediately. Think of it as a little extra!” he smiled widely.

"That is always a welcome bonus. The sooner we can get the ship into service, the better. Have to get the Naval Patrol off my back," the Marquis laughed. Gardner laughed as well. Daucourt looked pained, as if from biting his tongue.

When the group arrived at the Palace, they were immediately escorted to a large dining room. A light lunch had been set up; the Marquis meant it when he said he liked to do business in comfort. 

Once pleasantries had been exchanged and wine delivered to the table, the Marquis got right to it. "So what have you got to offer us?"

“Well,” Yousef began, and then started on a memorised sales pitch about a number of ships at a very reasonable, but not too suspicious, price; about the speed of their operations and just how quickly they’d get their new goodies. In his years since the war, he’d become quite the excellent actor, and loved to charm his clients. Cranston, meanwhile, sat to the side, still silent.

The Marquis and Gardner did seem charmed by the acting, and pleased with the details of the offer. Only Daucourt seemed unconvinced. "We are still talking with the Acadians and the Xiomerans about ships as well. What can you offer us that they cannot?" he asked.

"The Acadians and the Xiomerans both enjoy a game of politics," Yousef replied. "Everything they do comes with strings attached. But we're a true multinational: we're not beholden to one specific power, or faction in all those games. We offer you freedom from all that."

"That is a definite bonus. We prefer to be neutral and off the beaten path, as it were," the Marquis said. "Do you have any references we can contact?"

"Of course," Yousef lied, pulling out a pair of business cards for fake people at fake companies who received fake ships.

"Excellent." The Marquis handed the cards to Gardner. "Once we check those out, we should be ready to proceed. It should be a formality, as your offer seems quite on point. In the meantime, I invite you to enjoy the hospitality of Salad Land. We have prepared rooms at our finest hotel for yourself and your crew. Feel free to relax or just enjoy visiting Port Salad. We should have an answer for you soon," the Marquis said as he stood up.

"Excellent," Yousef said. "A pleasure meeting you." He and Cranston went off to explore, hoping that they'd managed to avoid drawing suspicion.