11-14-2019, 08:54 AM
First off, this is a very good draft. It absolutely has promise and I think it won't take much editing to get this draft worthy of the voting room floor.
Pre-ambulatory clauses.
These look pretty good (I'm not 100% sure about clause 1 as it doesn't really directly pertain to the bill but I think it's fine). The only thing I might add to this section is a clause justifying the creation of beyond just the charter. You'll want to answer the question: Why is it essential that we have judiciary committee at all?
Section 1, Clause 1: I don't think you need "most importantly the IDU charter" as it is implied that the charter serves as the supreme law. Otherwise, all good. That was basically just a nitpick
Section 1, Clause 2: I might reword "As stated the second section of the IDU Charter[...]". I think you left out either a comma or a few words. I also ask, should it be a majority (>50%) or a super majority (2/3 or more). "Each Judge, [...], they shall retain their position." should be its own clause.
Section 1, Clause 3: You may want to break up and restructure this clause. The base stating that it impeachment of one of the judges is possible, while the subclauses are devoted to explaining the actual procedure. It is also my opinion that the delegate should NOT serve as the judge as the delegate is already the accuser. This would be like, if in a RL court of law, the prosecutor was aloud to preside over his own case. I might advise retaining the two remaining IDUJC judges to preside over the court in tandem. I would also state that, since there is no jury used in regular IDUJC proceedings, we should not have one just for these specific cases.
Section 2, Clause 1: "The Judicial Committee's primary purpose is to uphold the law of the IDU" is actually its own operative clause. I might suggest working this in elsewhere. This whole clause honestly could be broken down into an entire section of its own. I would split this up into multiple clauses at the very least. Additionally, I don't think the entire IDUSA should be accusing anyone. I think accusations should be made by one nation against another nation. In all honestly, many disputes will directly be between two nations anyway and having to have the IDUSA to take sides could prove problematic.
Section 2, Clause 2: Yup. This looks good.
Section 2, Clause 3: You mean judges? We only have one delegate.
Section 2, Clause 4: This ties back into court proceedings so I would put it up with Clause 1.
Section 2, Clause 5: This is two separate clauses. The latter half should be worked combined with 1-C for its own... section... maybe. This one is tricky because the scenarios are distinctly different, yet almost the same in practice. I'll have to think on this one further.
Section 2, Clause 6: Yeah, this is fine.
Restructuring Notes: I think you need to break the sections up a little more. "Court Proceedings" should certainly be its own section. I would also remind you that breaking up your clauses into subclauses is encouraged.
Formatting Notes: Generally, operative clauses in a piece of legislation begin with a verb. "The Judicial Committee's primary purpose is to uphold the law of the IDU" might change to: "Establishes the IDU Judiciary Committee to uphold the laws of the IDU." That isn't a great example but it's all I could think of at 2:00 AM.
This is a great draft with a ton of potential. Nations of the IDUSA, I hope you take the time to read it and give your feedback and input. Eiria, thanks for all of your hard work.
Pre-ambulatory clauses.
These look pretty good (I'm not 100% sure about clause 1 as it doesn't really directly pertain to the bill but I think it's fine). The only thing I might add to this section is a clause justifying the creation of beyond just the charter. You'll want to answer the question: Why is it essential that we have judiciary committee at all?
Section 1, Clause 1: I don't think you need "most importantly the IDU charter" as it is implied that the charter serves as the supreme law. Otherwise, all good. That was basically just a nitpick
Section 1, Clause 2: I might reword "As stated the second section of the IDU Charter[...]". I think you left out either a comma or a few words. I also ask, should it be a majority (>50%) or a super majority (2/3 or more). "Each Judge, [...], they shall retain their position." should be its own clause.
Section 1, Clause 3: You may want to break up and restructure this clause. The base stating that it impeachment of one of the judges is possible, while the subclauses are devoted to explaining the actual procedure. It is also my opinion that the delegate should NOT serve as the judge as the delegate is already the accuser. This would be like, if in a RL court of law, the prosecutor was aloud to preside over his own case. I might advise retaining the two remaining IDUJC judges to preside over the court in tandem. I would also state that, since there is no jury used in regular IDUJC proceedings, we should not have one just for these specific cases.
Section 2, Clause 1: "The Judicial Committee's primary purpose is to uphold the law of the IDU" is actually its own operative clause. I might suggest working this in elsewhere. This whole clause honestly could be broken down into an entire section of its own. I would split this up into multiple clauses at the very least. Additionally, I don't think the entire IDUSA should be accusing anyone. I think accusations should be made by one nation against another nation. In all honestly, many disputes will directly be between two nations anyway and having to have the IDUSA to take sides could prove problematic.
Section 2, Clause 2: Yup. This looks good.
Section 2, Clause 3: You mean judges? We only have one delegate.
Section 2, Clause 4: This ties back into court proceedings so I would put it up with Clause 1.
Section 2, Clause 5: This is two separate clauses. The latter half should be worked combined with 1-C for its own... section... maybe. This one is tricky because the scenarios are distinctly different, yet almost the same in practice. I'll have to think on this one further.
Section 2, Clause 6: Yeah, this is fine.
Restructuring Notes: I think you need to break the sections up a little more. "Court Proceedings" should certainly be its own section. I would also remind you that breaking up your clauses into subclauses is encouraged.
Formatting Notes: Generally, operative clauses in a piece of legislation begin with a verb. "The Judicial Committee's primary purpose is to uphold the law of the IDU" might change to: "Establishes the IDU Judiciary Committee to uphold the laws of the IDU." That isn't a great example but it's all I could think of at 2:00 AM.
This is a great draft with a ton of potential. Nations of the IDUSA, I hope you take the time to read it and give your feedback and input. Eiria, thanks for all of your hard work.