[Lauchenoiria]

Lauchenoirian Guardian

Lauchenoiria First demands female presidential candidates release childhood information.
25th May 2019

Paul Doberman, the leader of Lauchenoiria First, has called on all female presidential candidates to ‘prove’ they are really Lauchenoirian by releasing birth certificates, childhood photos and school reports, in order to “ensure nobody like Clarke ever gets near power again”.

Last year it was revealed that Prime Minister Charissa Clarke, the successor to Suleman Chaher who was behind the coup which started the civil war, was in fact a Kerlian sleeper agent, trained during childhood to infiltrate Lauchenoiria as part of the so-called ‘Aurora Programme’. Clarke has not admitted to this charge, however refused to return to Lauchenoiria after the conclusion of the peace talks in Haven, Sanctaria.

Doberman, the controversial leader of far-right Lauchenoiria First, has accused numerous female politicians of being ‘Auroras’ since the conclusion of the war, including Liberal leader Josephine Alvarez - who is married to a Kerlian, Councillor Jennifer Hale. Alvarez, who was held prisoner in Kerlile for a month in August, has refuted the allegations.

Feminist Party leader, Katherine Wright, has called Doberman’s accusations a “misogynistic witch hunt, designed to deter women from participating in politics and strengthen the patriarchy”. She claims that Doberman is using Kerlile as an excuse to do “what he has always wanted to”.

The government of Kerlile deny the existence of a sleeper agent programme. They issued a statement in response to Doberman’s accusations:
“The Aurora Programme is a measure to improve the lives of orphans in Kerlile. It has nothing to do with espionage and the information on the USB stick presented in Haven is misleading and inaccurate”.

Doberman has stated that if Lauchenoiria elects a female president who cannot ‘prove’ she is not a Kerlian agent, his party will refuse to accept the results of the election. This sentiment was echoed in a statement released by the extremist anti-feminist group Men Against Kerlian Influence (MAKI) who claim Kerlile is behind modern feminism and are ‘destroying’ traditional values.

The Lauchenoirian government issued a statement reminding voters that the elections will be fair and free, as guaranteed by Sanctaria, and that all parties have previously agreed to accept the results.