08-27-2016, 06:03 PM
"Hrarroom!" ( = "Greetings!")
I've read the draft, and at first glance you've got a good skeleton for the draft here although I think that improvements in various places would be not only possible but desirable. I've printed out a copy to re-read while I'm offline this evening so that I can prepare more detailed comments to post tomorrow, probably by showing you a possible re-draft with explanations for the changes.
One important point for you to think about, in the meanwhile: Unfortunately there's actually an upper limit of 30 characters (including spaces) for proposal titles, because the submissions system simply won't accept anything longer than that, and your current title is rather longer so you need to find a shorter one that still sums-up the proposal's subject to your satisfaction.
:Bear:
I've read the draft, and at first glance you've got a good skeleton for the draft here although I think that improvements in various places would be not only possible but desirable. I've printed out a copy to re-read while I'm offline this evening so that I can prepare more detailed comments to post tomorrow, probably by showing you a possible re-draft with explanations for the changes.
One important point for you to think about, in the meanwhile: Unfortunately there's actually an upper limit of 30 characters (including spaces) for proposal titles, because the submissions system simply won't accept anything longer than that, and your current title is rather longer so you need to find a shorter one that still sums-up the proposal's subject to your satisfaction.
:Bear: